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十種讓孩子壞在起跑點的方法

十種讓孩子壞在起跑點的方法~

on 2011年4月10日星期日 
一直不願意加這一行,因為很醜,不過呢,各位若是想要轉載請自己動手吧,留個言鼓勵我就好囉。
===============================================================

雖然教高中沒有很多年,但是也看了不少小孩,有乖巧懂事自制的,也有聰明懶散爛泥般的。
在此向各位家長獻上我的歸納,讓您們能一看就上手,小孩必定壞在起跑點,絕對錯不了。

首先,給小孩最好的、最新的、無窮無盡的物質,衣服鞋子文具手機電腦等等等,或者給他一張信用卡,是最有效的方法,您們一定要試試。
這樣一來,小孩就會認為他所得到的都是理所當然的,沒給他的就是別人的錯,而且是嚴重的錯!
您就必然會聽到「為什麼不給我錢買最新的手機?我恨死你了」
好犀利啊~

如果沒有這麼多預算執行前項方法,別擔心,還有很多替代方案,

第二,記得要讓小孩從小吃外食,最好是漢堡薯條冰淇淋炸雞排等,一定要養成小孩喝珍珠奶茶等飲料的習慣。
這樣一來,小孩不僅可以又胖又呆,而且將來也不可能有健康的身體,保證會有心血管疾病及關節病變。
如果可以讓小孩青春期前就習慣喝咖啡可樂就更好啦,可以從小培養成癮性,同時培養骨質疏鬆的體質。
如果您不相信外食的效果,也可以自己在家煮,記得一定要追求最划算的食材,煮出大量的食物,這樣一來食材中的農藥抗生素硝酸鹽動物激素可以確實的累積在小孩體內,確保將來得到癌症或肝腎疾病,以領取健康保險給付,而且可以大量耗用健保資源,把繳出的保費賺回來,一兼二顧,摸蛤仔兼洗內褲。

接下來的方法就更是低成本,甚至還可以增加您的收入。讓我們一起看下去。

第三,記得一定要用你做不到的事情作為恐嚇的內容。例如「再哭我就打死你」。
或是一定要自打嘴巴,不要執行自己立下的罰則。例如「下次作業再沒寫就沒有零用錢」,但是一定要忘記這件事,照常發給零用錢。
這一招是用來培養小孩不甩你,叫他往東他必定往西的絕佳方法,超有效,您一定要試試看。

另外一個有加成效果的招數,在此不藏私的告訴您。

第四,當小孩不願作份內的事情,如洗臉刷牙收拾房間寫功課念書的時候,一定要用實質的獎品來鼓勵他,避免他自動自發的做好一件事情。
像是「如果你把房間收好,我們就去買玩具」
最好的方法就是考第一名給一千塊之類的,這樣一來,只要您不給錢不買禮物,他就什麼也不會去做,也不會為自己負責,您就可以為他的一生操心,多好。
喔對了,從很小時一定要養成用買玩具來讓小孩不哭的習慣,這樣的話,小孩想要什麼時,只要一哭您就會知道,這樣的溝通管道多順暢多有效。

第五,要把小孩的爛攤子收乾淨,並且告訴小孩那都是別人的錯,因為你的小孩絕對是最棒的、最乖的,都是同學老師學校不對,這樣小孩會覺得你很愛他。
例如小孩違反校規必須記過時,一定要去學校辱罵翻桌,如果小孩在場則效果尤佳,您的公子千金會覺得你好威。
例如小孩不交作業以致被當掉時,一定要找任課老師理論,罵老師無能不懂教育直到老師低頭放水為止,同樣的,小孩在場時的效果加倍,這樣他下次可以自己罵老師,不用勞您大駕。

又例如小孩忘記帶上課用品/寫作業時,無論再怎麼忙一定要幫小孩送去/幫小孩做好作業,以免小孩被處罰,而且千萬不能責怪小孩沒有自己準備好/寫好,畢竟他是孩子嘛。如果材料或作業的準備有點麻煩,千萬不要責備小孩怎麼沒有早點說,一定要怪老師出什麼爛作業故意找麻煩之類的。

第六,要用放風箏的方法尊重小孩,他要多晚睡就多晚睡,睡不夠可以去學校繼續補眠。
除了可以減少小孩睡眠時間,避免將白天學到的知識形成記憶,也可以確保小孩白天上課時可以好好休息。
小孩因為覺得累不想念書也要尊重他,因為生命總會找到出口。這樣將來他就會因為辛苦不想工作而永遠留在您身邊了。人嘛,輕鬆一點嘛。

第七,多花些時間工作賺錢,不要花太多時間陪小孩,只要用買東西來安慰他就好了。
雖然小孩並不會因為您送禮物就覺得您愛他,但是拿人手短,相信他不會有太多意見。反正您不陪小孩,他也一樣會長大。
如果很難做到,可以多生幾個小孩,一定就能達成了。既可以增產報國又可以確保小孩壞掉,又是一石二鳥的超聰明辦法。

第八、幫小孩除掉一切障礙,避免小孩遭受挫折,這樣就可以順利地形成快樂的人格。
預先跟學校各科老師打招呼,年節送禮問候不可少,幫小孩安排好一切細節與將來出路。
如果某一科的表現不佳,就讓小孩以後不要再學這科了,千萬不要要求小孩再多努力,畢竟每個人的專長不同,讓小孩去做他天生就喜歡的事情就好,例如跳舞、看漫畫、玩魔方,也是可以出頭天的,不是嗎。

第九、當小孩的麻吉,凡事都跟他商量,凡是要讓步,不可責罵,才不會搞壞親子關係。
畢竟連聖經以弗所書第六章第四節都說「你們作父親的、不要惹兒女的氣....」(註1)他要買東西就給他錢,他要聽演唱會就去幫他排隊買票。他蹺課要幫他掩護,這樣小孩會很愛你,長大也不會盲目服從權威。當你希望他不要跟通緝犯結婚、不要吸毒、不要飆車時,小孩就瞭解只要他堅持,你就會尊重讓步。將來就職也能時時挑戰上司,捍衛自己的尊嚴。


第十、帶領您的小孩一同鑽漏洞,一起佔便宜,只為自己打算。例如若規定要帶安全帽,一定要想辦法找出不用真正戴好又不會被罰的方法,這樣將來萬一他出車禍,絕對可以頭顱破裂,光是理賠給您的就賺翻啦。一定要告訴小孩,警察在的時候要尊重警察及法規,警察不在時要尊重自己,這樣沒有警察及照相錄影取締時,小孩才不會傻傻的不闖紅燈也不違規左右轉,萬一其他時相有車子要穿越,才不會漏撞您的公子千金啊啊啊。
不拿白不拿的一定要拿,不拿的是傻子。這樣將來您客氣問他要不要幫忙出錢買房子,他一定不會辜負您的希望,讓您全額付清。
相信這樣從小培養鑽漏洞及佔便宜的能力,就不用擔心將來他會忘記鑽漏洞,必定想各種方法會把您吃乾抹淨又不用供養您。



要秉持一個信念,學校老師要對您的公子千金負全責,畢竟學校教育是教育的全部,家長是完全無須負責的。
當老師給您建議時,一定要反駁回去,因為您的小孩您最瞭解,您的品管這麼好,不可能生出說謊打人偷東西的小孩,一定是同學說謊誣賴,再不然就是壞朋友帶壞的,而教出這樣的同學是學校要負最大責任。您的寶貝不論變成什麼樣,都是學校的緣故。品德教育是學校該推行的項目,所以您的小孩若是有佔用博愛座、拾金很昧、援交以購買名牌包、各種霸凌、在公共場所寬衣脫褲、吐痰抹鼻屎、垃圾塞在別人機車上......等等等,您只要用十字真言就可以劃清責任了,那就是

我們的學校教育怎麼了!!!

剛好十個字,報告完畢。


註1:聖經以弗所書第六章第四節原文「你們作父親的、不要惹兒女的氣,只要照著主的教訓和警戒,養育他們我在上面寫的是誤用,不是聖經的原本意思。

註2:有心理學家把家長分為「專制」、「放任」、「權威加民主」及「忽略」,我所碰到的很多家長是自以為權威加民主,其實是「民主但無權威」最後只好「放任」,說穿了就是「無知」,權威不同於威權專制,在這裡權威是指的就是小孩反射性的信任你所說的,在教養中是必要的角色,不論是老師或是家長或是偶像或是同學。
Authoritarian (專制) ﹑Permissive (放任) ﹑Authoritative (權威加民主) 以及 Neglectful (忽略)



Thursday, April 14, 2011

10 sure fire ways to ruin your child's future

 


(original article: http://montanahan.blogspot.com/2011/04/blog-post_9878.html )
By some angry/frustrated Taiwan teacher.
First of all, buy the children all the best, latest, endless material, clothes, shoes and stationery, mobile computer, etc., etc., or give him a credit card, is the most effective method.


In this way, the child will take everything for granted, and if anyone did not give him what he wants is someone else's fault, and it is a serious fault! You will inevitably hear, "Why not give me money to buy the latest mobile phone? I hate you" 

Very sharp, isn't he?
If you do not so much budget execution method of the preceding paragraph, do not worry, there are many alternatives






Second, remember to let kids eat lots of snacks, ice cream is best burgers fries and other fried chicken, we must develop a child to drink pearl milk tea and other beverage habits.In this way, children can not only fat and stay, and never will be a healthy body, to ensure that there will be cardiovascular disease and joint disease.


If you can make a child before puberty is more accustomed to drinking coffee cola.

Well, you can develop addiction since childhood, while the physical training of osteoporosis.

If you do not believe that the effect of eating out, you can own cooking at home, remember to seek the most cost-effective ingredients, cook a lot of food, so that the ingredients in pesticides can do antibiotics nitrate accumulation of animal hormones in vivo in children, to ensure will be cancer or liver disease, in order to receive health insurance benefits, and can consume a large number of health care resources to pay the premiums earned back, one and two consultants, Getting the underwear.
The next method is even more low-cost, can even increase your income. Let us read on.



Third, we must remember to use the things you can not do as an intimidation. For example, "cry and I'll kill you."


Or must be self-contradictory, not to implement their own set of penalties.For example, "next time there is no written job made no allowance," but we must forget it, as usual given pocket money.This trick is used to nurture a child is not blowing you off, tell him he must west east great way, super-effective, you must try.
Another trick for an additive effect, I'll tell you.

Fourth, when the share of chores your children do not want to do s such as homework, clean up around the house, to study, be sure to use real prizes to encourage him to avoid self-motivated to do his thing.Like "If you close the room is good, we buy toys"The best way is first to test a thousand and the like, this way, as long as you do not give money do not buy gifts, he would not do anything, he will not be responsible, you will be able to worry about his life your whole life, so wonderful.

Oh yes, we must develop from the very hour to buy toys for kids with the customary cry, this is the case, you will know exactly what the child wants, as long as he cries you will know, so much smoother and more effective communication channels.




Fifth, you must clean up after your child's mess, and others tell your children that others are wrong, because your child is absolutely the best, is cleverest, and school teachers, students are always the wrong one, so children will feel that you love him .


For example, when children break the rules to be a demerit, must go to school to protest by the desk, it's best if the child is present, your daughter will think you are a hero.




For example, when a child does not hand in papers that are out, be sure to find the instructor, blaming the teacher until the teacher admit his/her own incompetence, the effect doubled in the presence of your child, so that next time he scolds at his teacher, he will not trouble you to come.
Another example is the children forget to bring school supplies / homework, no matter how busy you are you must send to help a child / children to do work to help prevent a child from being punished, but do not blame the kids who  are not ready, after all, he is a kid.

If the materials or operations for a bit of trouble, do not blame the kids who say no as soon as possible, we must blame the bad work out what the teacher deliberately look for trouble and the like.



Sixth, the kite  method, you have respect for the child to do what he wants, the more he wants to stay up late more sleep at night, sleep is not enough to go to school to continue to make sleep.



In addition to reducing child sleep time, learned to avoid the formation of memories during the day, you can ensure that the children can have a good rest during the day in class.If he feels tired because did not want to work hard, it's okay, because life will always find the exit. So in the future because he will not want to work hard to stay by your side forever.  



Seventh, more time working to make money, not spend too much time with children, as long as you buy things to comfort him just fine.


Although the child does not feel loved because you gave gifts, but he won't mind it, I believe he will not have too many opinions. Anyway, you do not accompany the child as he grow.If it is difficult to achieve, you can have more children, and some can be reached. You can either increase production to serve the country and can ensure that the children break down, and kill two birds with one stone super-smart way.



Eighth, to help children get rid of all obstacles and setbacks, so that you can successfully form a happy personality.

Give gifts to bribe teachers, New Year greeting gifts essential to help children arrange all the details and the future way out.If the poor performance of a subject, they must not let the children learn this subject, and do not demand that children work more, after all, different for each person's expertise, so that children do what they naturally like to do like, such as dancing , read comics, play cube, those can still make them successful, can't they?



Ninth, when the child's best friend, to discuss all things related to him, all to give, not blame, it will not hamper the parent-child relationship.Give him money to buy something, so he can go to a concert, you went to help him line up for tickets. He was skipping classes and you have to cover for him, so kids will love you, will not grow up blind obedience to authority. When you hope she does not marry with the wanted man, not do drugs, do not drag racing, the children to learn as long as he insists, you will respect the concessions. Challenges of the future office can boss from time to time, to defend their dignity.

Tenth, to lead your child with loopholes, with advantage, only for his own plan. For example, if the requirement to wear helmets, must find ways to find out without actually wearing the method without penalty, so in the future if he had a car accident, skull fracture definitely, just for you to make claims to turn to your friends.  

Be sure to tell a child, when the police is present he has to respect the police and the regulations, when the police is not present, he can just respect himself. 
so no police and camera recording ban, the children will not follow that silly red light, if the other phase have a car to pass through, it will not hit your son or daughter.

This future, you politely ask him if he wanted to help out the money to buy a house, he will not live up to your hopes, you will paid in full.I believe that from an early age to take advantage of loopholes and the ability to not worry about the future he will forget loopholes will want you to eat a variety of methods will wipe dry and no support to you.


To uphold a conviction, the school teacher daughter to take full responsibility for your son, after all, education is the education of the school, parents are totally not responsible.  


When the teacher to advise you, be sure to argue back, because you know the best of your child, your quality control so well, can not give birth to children lying stealing beat, other students must be lying rogue, or else is in bad with bad, but people who teach the students in the school should bear the greatest responsibility.  

The implementation of moral education is the school project, so if your child has occupied love seat, stole money, compensated dating to purchase brand-name bags, all kinds of bullying,  undress in public places, spitting wiping booger, stuffed in garbage others lockers...... so on and so on motorcycles, you can just draw with the responsibility of cross-truth, and that is...

"What happened to our education system!!!"
Just 6 words, the report is completed.
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